interview with a hot air balloon

Hot Air Balloonist Magazine: Are you a hot air balloon?

Hot Air Balloon: Yes.

HABM: Why did you become a hot air balloon?

HAB: Someone rode a bicycle.

HABM: Has anyone ever ridden a hot air balloon?

HAB: What?

HABM: What is the best part about being a hot air balloon?

HAB: Being in motion. The warming flame. The amount of air.

HABM: What is the most challenging part about it?

HAB: Being stationary.

HABM: How do you manage when you're stationary?

HAB: I look at things in the sky. On a cloudy day it can be difficult. The passengers can be a great help. Once I show them tree line, it’s easier to convince them to take me up. Branches are pretty.

HABM: Do the passengers enjoy the ride?

HAB: They feel happy about the idea going up and down. While we’re in the air they are restless. One lady decided to throw her handbag and shoes over the side. She was bored. Some of them try to take home souvenirs. They get frustrated when they realize that air is everywhere. They are generally unhappy people.

HABM: How long have you been a hot air balloon?

HAB: On my birthday, a man tied many helium balloons to a rusty lawn chair and floated 200 miles from his home. He hovered over his dog and his dog waved at him.

HABM: Are you going up right now?

HAB: I hope so.

HABM: Do you think being a hot air balloon is still a viable form of existence?

HAB: It's, uh...eternity...rhinoceros face...

HABM: I can’t see you anymore. Can you see me?

HAB:..........

HABM: Do you have any words of advice for aspiring young hot air balloons?

HAB:...........